According to Leslie Milk in her book, It’s Her Wedding but I’ll Cry If I Want To: A Survival Guide for the Mother of the Bride, the best way to achieve a true meeting of the minds and an alignment between bride and bank account is to put everything in writing. Before you view the first hotel ballroom or taste the first chevres on endive, sit down together to draw up a mother-daughter prenuptial agreement. Putting it in writing can prevent the “she said, she said” misunderstandings that ruin many a wedding long before the “I dos.”
It will force both the mother of the bride and the bride to come up with a workable schedule. It is also a diplomatic way of asking the questions that need to be asked, like, “is his family footing the bill for t any part of this extravaganza or should I tell your father what this is going to cost us and hope he doesn’t have a stroke?”
A mother-daughter agreement is a form of wedding insurance. In the unlikely event that the bride becomes a bridezilla or the Mother of the Bride turns into the Mother of all M.O.B.s, there will be clearly outlined procedures for intervention.
You don’t need a lawyer to create a mother-daughter prenup. A sample agreement can be found in Milk’s book and modified to reflect you own specific situation. You will be very glad you took the time to “put it in writing.”
Happy Planning,
Deb Merriner, Splash Consultant
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