Thursday, September 23, 2010

To Change Names or Not

There are many reasons why you might want to change your name, and just as many why you might not.  Whatever your decision, make it with your groom, perhaps by seriously considering the following suggestions offered by Judith Sherven and James Sniechowski in their book The Smart Couple’s Guide to the Wedding of Your Dreams.   

•    Write your name in each of the possible forms you are considering – taking the groom’s name, creating a new name from both of yours, hyphenating your names, changing the groom’s name to the bride’s and keeping the bride’s name.

•    Say each of these out loud

•    Delete any that are out of the question for you.

•    Jointly discuss the remaining options.   Talk about all of the names’ ramifications – their effects on your families and friends, your work life, your children’s last names(s), what each choice means to you, as well as anything else that the names could affect.

•    Now which name(s) make you feel most at home, most comfortable, and proudest?

There is no need to make a final decision right away.  The important thing is to mull your options over until both of you feel empowered by and strongly identified with the name(s) you will select.

Respecting and valuing your uniqueness, and knowing your own private and public reasons for your choice, will make the naming process more meaningful and will deepen your pride and comfort in the name you will be known by for the rest of your life.

Happy Planning!
Deb Merriner, Splash Consultant

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