Martha Woodham in her book, Wedding Etiquette for Divorced Families offers some good advice regarding the stepparents’ roles in wedding planning/execution. Recognizing that there can be some rather “ sticky” situations that a bride and groom may have to contend with, she advises talking to parents and stepparents beforehand and letting them know your expectations are for them to put aside any animosities for the wedding and events surrounding it. The following “ ten commandments” written by her may come in handy for this purpose.
The Gracious Stepparent’s Ten Commandments
How to Earn the Undying Loyalty of Your Family
1. Insist that you and your spouse contribute financially to the wedding, especially if he is the father of the bride.
2. Do not expect any control over the wedding planning.
3. Do not pout when your lovingly-given advice is ignored. In fact, don’ t give any unless asked!
4. Do offer your assistance to the bride and her mother in running errands or handling mundane talks.
5. Do not fret when your spouse is asked to pose for family photographs that include his or her ex.
6. Do not insist on standing in the receiving line, even if you should.
7. Do not insist that your children be part of the wedding ceremony, even when they should be.
8. Do host a party of the couple, but do not upstage festivities hosted by the father or mother.
9. Do not insist that your name be on the invitations, even when it should be.
10. Do not try to upstage the parents in any way by dressing or acting to draw attention to yourself .
There are a lot of logistics when blending two families, but not to worry, we are always here for our brides to help them through the etiquette of blending families on their wedding day. Just give us a call!