Ten Thank You Note Do's and Don'ts

Is there a statute of limitations on thank you notes? Well, according to Emily Post, you’re not off the hook if you haven’t sent your thank you notes – sending a note for a gift is still a must no matter how long it’s been. So what is the protocol? Contrary to popular myth couples don’t have a grace period of a year in which to send their thanks; it’s more like three months. Ideally, a note should be written the day the gift is received if at all possible. The memory of the pleasure of opening the gift is still fresh in your mind if you write it right away making composing the note all the more easier. Plus who wants to return from the honeymoon and face a mound of thank you notes still waiting for you!

Anna Post in her Wedding Parties book offers the following Ten Thank You Note Do’s and Don’ts to help you appropriately express your gratitude for the generosity shown you as a new couple:

• Do personalize your notes, making reference to the person as well as the gift.
• Do be enthusiastic, though you don’t need to gush. Avoid saying that a gift is the most beautiful you’ve ever seen, unless you really mean it.
• Don’t send form letters or cards with printed messages and just your signature.
• Don’t use email or post generic thank-you messages on your Web site in lieu of personal notes.
• Don’t mention that you plan to return or exchange a gift or express dissatisfaction in any way.
• Do mention what use you’ll make of money gifts. (Referring to the amount is optional.)
• Don’t use lateness as an excuse not to write. If you’re still sending notes after your first anniversary, keep writing.
• Do remember that a gift should be acknowledged with the same courtesy and generosity in which it was given.
• Do promptly acknowledge the receipt of shipped gifts (so the sender knows it arrived safely) by mailing a note right away, or by calling and following up with a written note shortly thereafter.
• Don’t include wedding photos or use photo cards if this means delaying sending the notes while you wait for the photos.

It really doesn’t matter if the bride or groom writes the note, it just matters that it gets written. Regardless of who writes, both of you should be mentioned as appreciating the gift. Either or both can sign the note or one can sign for both – all those options are appropriate.

Try not to think of the task as just so much “homework” or a perfunctory courtesy: a handwritten note and the time you take to pause for a moment and put down your thanks on paper demonstrates your appreciation just as much as the words you choose to write. In a world of email and online registries, such a gesture goes a long, long way!

Deb Merriner, Splash Consultant

Is Registering for China a Thing of the Past?

 (Mikasa 'Daylight')

Historically in American culture, one of the first things a newly engaged bride did was to register for her china.  The bride's biggest dilemma was how many pieces to register for; would service for 8 be enough?  Is service for 12 too much?

Times are changing and today's bride is not the same as brides 50 years ago, 20 years ago and even 10 years ago.  Brides are now asking themselves: Do I even need to register for china?

Here are some common reasons that present today's bride with hesitations when deciding whether or not to register for china:

1- She stands to inherit one or more sets from her mother, grandmother, mother-in-law or other relative.

2- She remembers her mother or grandmother's china rarely being used; it was more of a decoration and a space-waster than something practical.  She would rather receive gifts that she could use on a daily basis.

3- Space is at a premium.  Today's bride is getting married later than before and she will be bringing a lot more to the table (no pun intended!).  She may already have a stocked kitchen and basic everyday dinnerware which suits all her needs.

That being said, there are still brides who are making the trip to Macy's with mom to pick out their china.  Today's bride may not need China but she will still register for it because is that what their mother and grandmother did.  She may have had her china pattern picked out since she was a little girl and has been waiting for the day when it is her turn to register.

Here are some patterns that are catching our eye lately:

Vera Wang Wedgewood Blue Duchesse:

Kate Spade June Lane Collection: 

Crate + Barrell Regent Dinnerware:

 

By Julie Daniel, Splash Consultant